Staff guarded its most recent bagel closely; it was not left unattended for even a second. Unfortunately, when cream cheese is involved, what Jeff cannot steal with stealth and cunning he will take by force.
Jeff staked out the bagel from the coffee table. When no cream cheese was forthcoming, Jeff leaned in and began taking swipes at it. Sometimes he hit the bagel, sometimes he hit the Staff.
Jeff daintily licked the hard-won cream cheese from his paw. Staff plans to eat future bagels standing up, or possibly hiding in the closet.
Step 1: Attract Jeff’s attention in some way.
Step 2: You will know Step 1 was successful when you observe Jeff has moved into a crouching position.
Step 3: Shortly following Step 2, there will be a rapid flurry of activity. You might feel some pain at this point; this is normal.
Step 4: Congratulations, you have now been eaten by Jeff.
This is a briefly unattended bagel from which Jeff licked all the cream cheese.
This is Jeff digesting cream cheese.
Staff made a cake today. Yellow cake with cream cheese frosting.
Jeff eagerly helped Staff clean up any and all leftover bits of frosting.
Because as we know, all food is appropriate for Jeff. Just ask him.