The Staff’s quality of service has slipped recently. I am very annoyed at being kept indoors while they claim silly excuses like “raining,” “nighttime,” and “40 degrees.”

Jeff packs a suitcase

When I am through sleeping on this, I might consider packing my things.


  1. Patrick

    El Jefe sure looks comfy on that luggage…one of mine likes to lay on my luggage like that as well. Wonder what His Orangeness would bring in from a cold night…a bat? Maybe some gophers?

  2. Jane

    Aaah Jeff, you have been too lenient with Staff. Could the wretched and neglectful Staff accompany you on some trips outdoors in the rain/night/heat? Staff have access to suitable clothing and we assume they are adults, so should not be afraid of the dark.

    Staff, this is serious. The perfect life of Jeff must not be compromised in ANY way at all.

  3. Emily

    Jeff, you may have to take things into your own paws. Don’t forget that you witnessed staff inexpertly securing the bathroom window! If all else fails, enlist the help of the dog – you can bargain with him for the return of the couch blanket. (Don’t worry, verbal contracts between cats and dogs are unenforceable.)

  4. Micah

    Going outdoors could be dangerous, Jeff–you might decide to take down one of Santa’s reindeer. After all, your teeth have never been more sound.

    You’d enjoy the reindeer. Santa might sue.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May the new year bring health, joy, right livlihood, and the many things that go into being whole hoomans and continued wonderful Jeff, Rita, Norman, and the dog.

  5. Angela

    Dear God staff, what is wrong with you? Jeff the Ripper deserves better, no not better he deserves the BEST!!! He is Jeff! I have spoken!

  6. Abby Normal

    What’s evil about it? Please do tell.

    Abby & Stygia



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