Staff guarded its most recent bagel closely; it was not left unattended for even a second. Unfortunately, when cream cheese is involved, what Jeff cannot steal with stealth and cunning he will take by force.

Jeff staked out the bagel from the coffee table. When no cream cheese was forthcoming, Jeff leaned in and began taking swipes at it. Sometimes he hit the bagel, sometimes he hit the Staff.

Jeff daintily licked the hard-won cream cheese from his paw. Staff plans to eat future bagels standing up, or possibly hiding in the closet.

Step 1: Attract Jeff’s attention in some way.

Step 2: You will know Step 1 was successful when you observe Jeff has moved into a crouching position.

Step 3: Shortly following Step 2, there will be a rapid flurry of activity. You might feel some pain at this point; this is normal.

Step 4: Congratulations, you have now been eaten by Jeff.

This is a briefly unattended bagel from which Jeff licked all the cream cheese.

This is Jeff digesting cream cheese.

The end.

Staff made a cake today. Yellow cake with cream cheese frosting.

Jeff eagerly helped Staff clean up any and all leftover bits of frosting.

Because as we know, all food is appropriate for Jeff. Just ask him.

Due to numerous requests, Staff weighed Jeff today. Accuracy is not absolute, as we employed the imprecise “weigh self, weigh self holding Jeff, do the math” method.

Result:
18.5 pounds / 8.4 kilograms

Recently Jeff’s evening routine has included a nap in the bathroom. Following his dinner, he samples our dinners as usual, and then retires for a snooze on the bathmat.

In the event someone needs a shower before bed, they must remember tread carefully when exiting because El Jefe will not be moving out of the way.

Jeff can eat a whole noodle faster than the dog.

The Staff fell ill over the weekend, and in his grace and benevolence Jeff granted us a sick day.

However, he and his housemate Rita followed our progress very closely. With the dog also in attendance, space in the sick bed became a bit tight.

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The magic of Rainbow String draws a crowd.

Jeff’s housemate Norman likes to play too, but he waits his turn.

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